My wife and I are having our first child in January. A baby boy. My big sis is having her first child in February. A little baby girl. Both would be my mom's first grandchildren. You can't imagine how excited she has been. She'd been wanting grandchildren for so long, and now, two in two months! Imagine the excitement. So much so that, even on her limited budget, she decided that she would be the one to throw the tandem shower for both my wife and my sister. She planned everything, with a little assistance from my Aunt Jean (her little sister) and my little sister, Courtney. It was set to be amazing, and the festivities would take place on Saturday, November 7, 2009 at 11 am. I figured I'd take in the UCLA vs. Washington football game since I was in town while the women were at the shower pinning things on the pregnant bellies!
Let me rewind a bit to explain why my mom's planning seemed so amazing to me. On July 29, 2001, I found my 52-year old mom sitting in her car in a Ralph's parking lot (local grocery store) in 90 degree weather, baking under the hot Northridge sun. My father, ever the clairvoyant, felt that it was taking my mom a bit too long to return from the store after having worked an overnight shift at the hospital (she was an R.N. nurse). He just knew that something wasn't right. "Go retrace her steps and see if you see her car. Check the store first." I pulled into the parking lot and drove around a bit, and sure enough, there was her car. "She's in the store", I thought, without any worries. But when I got out of the car and stepped into the hot sun, there she was in the car, sleep. I quickly opened the door and noticed she was drenched in sweat. I shook her to wake her. After a while, she awoke, but was extremely groggy. I called my dad and my older sister down to help me, and when they arrived, we placed her in my car and drove home. We did not know what was wrong. After we got her home, her condition quickly deteriorated and we realized how serious the situation had become. We rushed her to the hospital (we were home no more than 5 minutes) and found out that she had suffered a major stroke in the Basal Ganglia region of her brain. The nurse said that her prognosis was grim and that we should get in touch with our minister as soon as possible.
Long story short, she somehow made a miraculous recovery from the stroke. She never returned to her previous state, but she was alive and well, and that's all that mattered. She remained disabled, but, she was here with us. She went through therapy and gained a portion of her strength, and embarked on her new journey as a retired nurse. She was grateful to be alive, and we were thankful to have her back.
Fast forward to 2009. My mom was ecstatic to find out that she was going to have two grandchildren coming into the world! Since I lived in Phoenix and my sister in L.A., we worked out a hectic shared custody plan in which she would be in Phoenix for half of the year taking care of our son and in L.A. the other half, taking care of my niece. It felt good to see her this excited, because the previous year, she was anything but. In February of 2008, my father, her husband of 36 years passed away from brain cancer. The family was devestated. She was strong and made it through. Now, we were bringing joy into all of our lives with the soon-to-be new additions.
October 31, 2009, 2:04 a.m. My little sister Courtney calls me in a very calm but panicked voice (I know, that doesn't seem to make sense) to tell me that she found my mom in the livingroom not breathing and no heartbeat. The paramedics were working on her now, and would soon transport her to the hospital. I could not believe it. In just an instant, my world came crashing down...again. I paced the house calling relatives to rush by her side, waiting for one of my sisters to call me back with an update. Erika did. At 2:35 a.m. and cried into the phone with the two words that continue to echo in my head. "She's gone."
My mom was only 60 years old. She had just gotten over the death of her husband and now was rebuilding her life. She was expecting two grandchildren. She was so proud about planning the baby shower that was to take place just a week after her passing. She was so happy about the gifts that she had bought her grandchildren. Me being the UCLA fanatic/alumni (my wife and little sister are both alums, and my father attended for a few years as well), she bought our son tons of UCLA gear. A football. A bruin bear. A towel. A onesie, and much more. She couldn't wait to show it to me. She had called me earlier that week to give me a hint as to what she had purchased. Now, she wasn't aroud to see him use any of it.
I drove to L.A. immediately after getting off the phone with my sister. We spent the entire week planning the Friday funeral, and with the help of family and friends, we made it through. The day after was the day of the would be shower. 11:30 a.m. had come, and I couldn't help but think about the fact that everyone would be at the shower right now, having tons of fun, while I would be on my way to Pasadena, taking in what I had hoped would be a Bruin victory (despite the 5-game losing streak). Then I decided, why not go to the
game? There was no shower, and we couldn't bring her back, but we didn't need to sit around the house being depressed. She wouldn't have wanted that for us. I talked my sisters into going with me, and we headed down to Pasadena. We made it in by the beginning of the 2nd quarter, and were surprised by a Bruin lead, however narrow (14-13). We sat there watching the Bruins battl
e back and forth. Fumbles galore, Kevin Prince with yet another injury from leading head first into a defender. The Bruins battled back from a 23-14 deficit to take a 23-24 lead. Then, the Huskies were quickly moving down the field with only a couple minutes remaining. Locker was slicing through the D with ease, and then, it happened. Rahim Moore picked off a Locker pass after the ball being deflected by another "bruin". UCLA football was on its way to their first victory since September.Th
ere is no Hollywood ending here. No ressurections. No ghost sightings. None of that here. But what did happen though is, for the first time in a while, we felt normal again. There we were in the Rose Bowl cheering the Bruins to victory. Drinking lemonade. Eating nachos and garlic fries. Wondering how many times the wave would actually make it around the stadium ( I think I counted 5). Thinking that Prince will never learn his lesson (Slide man, slide!). Telling people that Kevin Craft entering the game did not mean the end of the game for
us. Enjoying the game as the Bruins made their run. Wrenching in pain as Jet Ski Franklin dropped the ball on the Rose Bowl field yet again. Cheering Rahim Moore as he made his nation-leading 8th pick of the year. Yeah, normal again, if only for a little while. I'd like to think that they did it for my momma. I'd like to think that she helped them out a bit. Maybe it was her that tipped that ball to Rahim. She always knew how much the Bruins meant to me. Thanks UCLA. Thanks Momma. We love you and will miss you always.
